Looking For Someone To Relate To

Looking For Someone To Relate To by Too Tall Joanz©

I be looking for somebody to speak on it
to be real with it
to say that they lived it
this ill shit
the hood mama’s experience

but I have yet to read
about it
so I took a seed
and plowed
the dirt
in the Harlem
section of Earth

A Queen by design
who stood in welfare lines
and dined
in cafeterias
in the Big Apple’s
most rotten of shelters
Ran the hamster wheel
in the ‘Begin’ program
for a beginning they offer
with menial tasks like folding sweaters
or sweeping leaves
choked
from co2 laced smoke
to receive the joke
that is cash assistance
the resistance
between
my moral fiber
and the almighty dollar
hollar
obscenities
at each other
being branded
father and mother
stranded
in parenthood by your lover
and all you know
is you got kids to feed
so you can either sweep those leaves
fold them sweaters
eat that bullshit they serve in them shelters
try with all your might to get your shit together
and as always there’s a change in the weather
there are storms
in eviction forms
relatives kicking me out
my son running about
my daughters wanting their daddy
and all I want is just for everyone to be happy
just a home
of my own
and let me be the first to deny your loan
I wanna work for mine
and because I’m a Queen by design
I can’t let money define
how I get it
because despite how you think I’m living
there’s just some shit I won’t do
Wrestling with issues
tear-stained tissues
at some point you stop crying
you wanna stop trying
but there’s no denying
you got kids to feed
so you can leave them tears
in those tissues
and those issues
on the floor
and the bullshit at the door
and go at it once more
grab at it once more
that star
however far
it maybe
was made for me
made in me
made in my three
and we gon’ be
alright
in flight
in our light
’cause Mama gon’ continue to fight
’til I get it
manifest
’til I live it
the dream
’til I give it
to my babies
in this crazy
world
tired of walking on eggshells
with my toes curled
It’s time to scoot ’em over!
Let ’em know I’m here!
Look fear
in the eyes
and demand rebirth
not restoration
but renewal
dust off my jewel
show ’em God’s glory
because my story
is far from over
flick doubt
about
like it’s a chip on my shoulder
and keep it moving
keep proving
to myself
that when I don’t think I got nobody else
God loves me
’cause when it gets ugly
He shows up so lovely
and sometimes I need that revelation
because there’s been many situations
where God is all I got
and knowing that I don’t stop
and knowing that there’s just some things I will NOT
do
and don’t have to!
Broke free from the shackles
of the system
let ’em tell it
I’m a victim
but I don’t dare listen
I can’t be the worm
when I’m fishing
can’t be the star
if I’m wishing
Only God knows my mission
and I believe I’m gon’ give Him
what He wants
hope that the yearning haunts me
hope that the desire taunts me
until I get it right
and it’s working ’cause it interrupts my sleep at night
’cause hood mama fights
hood mama’s a soldier
the average bitch ain’t built for the takeover
the only alteration I seek for the makeover
is a new residence
with the success of my children as evidence
for my flight
away from the stereotype
although they’d like me boxed
into a category
like that stops
the height of my ascension
like I said
Only God knows my mission
I can’t be the worm
if I’m fishing
can’t be the star
if I’m wishing
even if nobody listens
somebody out there can relate, dammit!

 

Artwork by: Helen Masacz

6 thoughts on “Looking For Someone To Relate To

      1. I am thrilled. Sorry about the duplicate post, Sometimes this Blog sends me wrong cues. You are deftly rhythmic with a purpose. You served your story. Sometimes poets get too in love with using lots of words… too much and I get lost. You are gifted. Off to bed. Looking forward to sitting down and reading your work tomorrow. Good Night.

        Liked by 1 person

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